The Motherhood Project: Jenn & Grayson & Max

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Motherhood. It’s wonderful and exciting and fulfilling and terrifying and the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Many days, I feel like I’ve failed: when my kids are still in their pjs at noon, when lunch is peanut butter crackers for the third day in a row, when the only energy I can muster is to sit on the couch and watch Sesame Street. But you know what? That’s life. And what feels like a failure to me, my kids are going to remember completely differently: the days Mommy snuggled with us in our pajamas and let us eat in the living room and held us tight. Those small moments are what I remember about my own childhood and the time with my own mother. What I think we forget about in the day of Pinterest-perfection-lives, is that childhood, in itself, is magical…there’s no need for fanfare. My goal is to capture mothers and their children in the every day, and to remind us all that even among the chaos, life is something pretty amazing…

If you’re in the Boston area, you have heard of Jenn Phelan, Pilates instructor extraordinaire. After a suggestion from a friend, I started following her on Instagram where she documents her life as a fitness instructor and as a mom to two of the most adorable little boys in the world, and you know I love me some Boy Mom. When I was thinking of who to collaborate with on my first Motherhood Project, Jenn immediately popped in my head and the process was much more emotional for the both of us than I had ever anticipated.

Jenn wrote about her reaction to this project in her own words on her blog and articulates the experience much better than I ever could. You can read more about here and here.

There is no one best thing about being a mother to my children. For every challenging moment that motherhood brings there’s always one look, one kiss, one hug that erases any feelings of defeat. It’s about the feeling you get when you know your little boys are tucked in safe and sound at the end of the day. Knowing that every morning is a new chance to start fresh, explore, grow and experience the world together. Seeing things from their eyes, and point of view is exciting and refreshing.

I love how Max’s personality is really starting to shine. His oh so big smile when he sees our dog Noelle is enough to light up the room. His belly laughs are contagious. His rolls are deliciously kissable. I adore how he clings tightly to my hand when I’m nursing him. He’s done this since for a while now and I pray that he never lets go. I hope even when he grows up he holds my hand just as tightly.

I always pictured myself as a mother to little girls. Bows, ballet class and dolls seemed so natural. I was shocked when I found out I was having a little boy and then… another! I honestly never pictured myself as a boy mom. I never played sports as a child and my cars, trucks, trains knowledge was non existent. But these boys have taught me so much about myself. They have opened me up to a whole new world of love and light and I can’t picture my life any other way now.

I hope that Grayson and Max are always happy, healthy and ambitious enough to follow their dreams, no matter what they are. I hope that as brothers they are the best of friends and always there for each other. I hope that they always know home is a place where their parents welcome them with open arms and loving hearts, forever and alway.

I never want to forget Grayson’s silliness at age three. His case of the giggles gets so intense when he tired that his whole body shakes with laughter. He loses complete and utter control. This can be incredibly frustrating in the moment when we want to get something done but it’s remarkable at the same time. It’s hard to not to smile at how carefree he is right now in life. I can’t help but wonder if we all felt a sliver of that.

I hope that my boys will remember me always being there with them for all of the little and big moments. From just playing in our living room on rainy days and books in bed to school drops offs, daily walks around the neighborhood and dancing in the kitchen. I strive to really be present for every moment of their lives and I hope they remember it with love and happiness. I hope they remember feeling how much their mama loves them.

Jenn, I cannot thank you enough for taking a chance and collaborating with me, and even more than that, for putting your whole heart in this project. I hope I was able to capture the way your boys look at you and how beautiful your everyday really is.